We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
