I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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