No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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