Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
