Pappa wants mamma naked
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
