I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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