Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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