4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
