kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
