I need help removing her.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
