In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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