I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
