Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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