I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
