I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
