Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
