I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
