I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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