Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize