I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
