My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
