I need help removing her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
