How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
please don't ironically join a cult
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