its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
