Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
