ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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