god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize
