Dual....:-)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
