Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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