now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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