so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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