i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize