I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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