I love black thongs
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
