I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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