TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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