she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my poor anus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
