I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
