Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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