Your face is a jimmy john
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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