white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize