would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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