whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
