I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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