i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
