Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
