very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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