Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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