the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
