is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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