So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize