I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
