I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
kristin has been a bad kristin
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
