The best revenge is premature balding
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
