Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
