you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize