Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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