thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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