are you still at the devil's house?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
