we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
