Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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