Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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