R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize