real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
