problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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