I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
