that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
