i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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