I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize