if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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